Triple Rat Gum

Today's topic: Religion and Politics

Question: Why is it that people feel the need to make into law religious beliefs?

I don't understand it.

Seriously, if you want to make abortion illegal, keep marriage to het-couples only, eliminate all forms of birth control in favor of abstinence, keep children within a two (het) parent home, etc....my question is, why aren't you trying to convert me to your religion?

If what your religion teaches is so...vital...to the American people and the human race in general, why aren't you knocking on my door, sharing the wonders of your religion, and encouraging my belief in those 'values' so much so that I join your religion?

I mean, if you're right and those beliefs are the way to go, a simple conversation about the fundamentals of your religion would convert me and laws would be unneccesary because everyone would be practicing your religion because yours is so grand, so amazing, and the utter end-all-be-all truth.

Of their own free will. Because you're free to practice the religion (or no religion) of your choice in this country.

Problem with the media and their presentation of culture/non-traditional family values in a pro-homosexual agenda? Convert the folk at the top of the food chain! Turn the networks into faith raisers promoting the one true way of religious and spiritual belief. The folk at the top are sinners? Then you're not trying hard enough to convert. Convert, I said, not make law.

Seriously, if you want the US to be one religion under Bush God, convert me. Enlighten me. Tell me why my spiritual beliefs are wrong beyond a doubt and then I'll have no problem practicing what you preach.

But until that time, keep your religion away from my politics, your hands away from my body and don't force me to practice your prejudice.

Second Serving of Rat Jam

Today's topic I must expunge before I blow up: War

It's an inevitable topic of mine. For someone as anti-violence as I am (which, oddly enough, does not coincide with my attraction for action movies, speculative fiction or men wearing thigh holsters. Don't ask.), it's going to come up.

This war (war? Let's quit the bull and call it by its real name, the Crusades for the Rights to American Arabian Petroleum, or CRAP for short) this CRAP has been fundamentally foul-smelling since day one - and varies depending on which angle you choose (whether it's a war against 'terrorism', a war to overthrow Saddam, a war for oil, a war for religion, a war for unity or a war for desolation...isn't it sad that I no longer have a clue what it's about?). Never mind the shady rationale for going to CRAP, on the one hand, you have two (or more) groups of people opposing each other, each idealistically believing that their CRAP version is correct and everyone else's CRAP is wrong. On the other hand, you have a nation tired of CRAP and want a little peace but are at odds without a stable leadership uniting all fronts.

I posed this question to my family at one point in an argument about whether or not we should still be involved in this CRAP. To which the standard issue red-blood American response was given that Saddam was evil, and do you really think an evil dictator should remain in power while everyone in the country suffered? Of course we're doing the right thing by making sure Iraq is a democracy, giving the people of Iraq the right to elect their officials and freedom.

To which I asked (ignoring the urge to ask what a dictator was and didn't that kind of describe our current 'democracy'?), "that's assuming a democracy is the correct answer. Is democracy the best thing for Iraq?"

And the car was silent, the crickets chirped and my brother giggled and sputtered nervously from his side of the car.

Of course, the tidal wave defending CRAP ensued, implications that I was being unAmerican made, being a Saddam supporter, insulting and not support our troops, supporting terrorism (because everyone in Iraq is a terrorist) et al.

Why is it so wrong to think that, while something is working (or not working) for you, that it might not be the best solution for everyone? That's saying reading text books in black print works for me, so therefore, everyone must acquire knowledge in that fashion. Never mind people who are blind and can't read black print, they must adapt to whatever works for you instead of using Braille to achieve the same outcome.

Am I being unAmerican by saying that democracy might not work for everyone?

It's this xenophobic centrism which is just adding to the CRAP. When you are so idealistic that you are blind to any alternative, you doom everyone and everything you touch with CRAP. Sure, educate. Share the how's and the why's and what it looks like. But you can't force people to accept and think the way you do. It might not work for them. They might find that audio tapes work better than your Braille. If you're going to help, ask questions - find out what they need and what will work for them don't assume that because you use Braille, they must use it as well.

And for CRAP's sake, quit the childish semantics of everyone's picking on me, I'm going to do things my way temper tantrums. When seen on adults, temper tantrums look ridiculous and you're made a fool and the whole world sees it.

***

Cyd: "It's not exactly comforting to know that others have to go through this too"

I think everyone has to go through it at some point, in some fashion. It's the one uniting factor for all people - kind of a universal constant. If it could be bottled and sold, you'd make a killing. Ooh, now talk about your business idea!

Mo: "#2 parent doesn't have a basis for comparison or way to understand child's new life decisions, challenges, etc."

Good point. Applies to everyone as well - friends, siblings, spouses, parents/children, coworkers, etc... - being able to connect on a level beyond small talk-related conversations about weather and things within your immediate (small) circles. Making that leap from connecting on superficial levels or the things you undersand is a huge hurdle - but once you can, I think a relationship actually develops, not just a familial bond which exists no matter what. (Hence the phrase you can pick your friends, not your family ;) )

First Slice

"The heart rate triples. The brain swells, pressing against the skull. And as that keeps going, then the lungs began to shrink, making it impossible to breathe. The pressure increases on all the internal organs until [rat explodes]... Rat jam!" - Owen in episode "Day One", Torchwood

Ah, the inaugural post.

Beware, ye who enter for the spleen shall be vented and the rat jam spread thick.

Today's topic? Parents. I know, how colloquial and cliche and completely teen-angst-ridden EMO. But here's my theory.

For the first 15-20 years of your life, you are the center of your parents' world. Nearly everything they do revolves around you. Granted, as you grow older, you aren't quite as dependent on them for food, clothing, shelter, etc... as you were when you were an infant who couldn't poop without their assistance. Okay, so you could. But you'd be messy.

During those 15-20 years, you grow a personality, a character and individual separate from your parents. You make friends, you go to birthday parties, you start working, you start 'going out' with the cute boy in your homeroom class who sits 2 down and 1 to the left, 'going out' entailing giggling at the inane things he might say in typical highschool boy fashion and cooing as he struts his stuff in front of the guys and awkwardly tries to hold your hand while you watch a movie with your group of friends. Later on, you start seriously dating, maybe even fall in love in that head-over-heals first love kind of way. You graduate highschool, move on to college, have a life. All on your own.

And you realize, somewhere in this time period, that your parents are no longer the center of your universe. Everything you do doesn't revolve around them. They're still important, you still love them, but you realize your universe has shifted in some lateral shift. Your universe now revolves around a focal point of your own creation, whether it be a spouse, children, work, etc...

I could go on about interconnected spirals and whatnot, but that would get tedius and boring.

Thing is, I don't think the parents have an idea how to handle not being the central focus of your world because in a way, you still remain central to theirs. It's hard to let go of the complete and total time/thought devotion and let them go be circles of their own. You'd feel unwanted, unappreciated, unloved, and the kicker...secondary. And likewise for the children and the circles they create. It's not that the children feel any less, but that would be hard, I think, to accept. Or to rationalize. Leading to insecurities and fear, fear being the root cause of all things wrong in the world. Next comes the great last gasp of control, a stranglehold tightening it's noose around the kids' necks - 'if I just hold on a little tighter, I can keep them for that much longer.'

The (no longer) kid rebels, yells with all their might that they are an adult, to let go and let them live their own circle. Relationships deconstruct to their elements and reform. Some parent/kids survive into adult/adult or mentor/adult relationships, some never take breath - dead in some heap of crushed egos and arrogance.

Why do some survive? Why do some grow? What exactly is the formula producing equation 'happy lifelong relationships?'

Rather simplistic interpretation, I know. Relationships are full of variables changing between siblings, parents, friends, neighbors. But that's the only rational thing that makes sense in an irrational world.

Reason #264 why I am never having kids, which I'll probably address in another post.