Jam-in-a-Box

Sarah, meet box.

Sarah: "Hello, box."

Box, meet Sarah.

Box: *applies labels*

Sarah: "Hey, wait a minute. Why are you sticking those labels on me?"

Box: "It's the only way I know to reach a destination."

Sarah: "But...I wasn't made in Taiwan."

Box: "I don't want to hear your arguing. Quit blaming me for the label."

Sarah: "But...you put it there."

Box: "How else am I supposed to know what's in you?"

Sarah: "You can't understand me by applying labels. I'm not FDA approved."

Box: "Your label says you supply 100% Daily Value of anger and dissillusion."

Sarah: "But...I'm not angry."

Box: "Don't blame me for being angry! That's your problem."

Sarah: "But I'm not blaming you."

Box: "See label #329."

Sarah: *reads* "I'm confused. Why did you apply a label with a definition of soup?"

Box: "Because that's how you define it. I'm just making sure you're aware of how you define it."

Sarah: "But...soup can be cold."

Box: "I know it can be. You should listen to me when I say it can be cold."

Sarah: "..."

Box: *slaps another label on*

Sarah: "Can you stop labeling me? You're not labeling me correctly. I don't think any of your labels even apply to me."

Box: "Of course they do. I'm a box."

Sarah: "I know you're a box. But I'd rather take my chances with the cat."

Box: *confused*

Sarah: "You're just housing something within. It may or may not be alive but I would rather have that, not a box."

Box: "I'm just not the box you want. But that's okay, no matter what, I still want you."

Sarah: "You're missing the point."

Box: *labels*

Sarah: *gives up on box and ventures into lands of free cats with no labels*

Jammy! America's Un-identity

So, I've been thinking (frightening, I know). But, I think part of the problem with today is that the United States has a severe case of amnesia of the personal identity sort.

We no longer know who we are.

Historically, we had a purpose. A uniting factor. Whether it be breaking away from Britain as a burgeoning democracy and free nation or fighting to prevent one man from overtaking the world with his views on a perfect world and the perfect race, we knew who we were because we knew where we stood and why we stood there.

Now? Not so much.

The fabric of the US identity is tattered and running like panty hose, a divide racing across the spanse of nylon leaving a gaping chasm of bubbled rings of skin surrounded by two sides pulling and tearing the support structure. Neither side will win the battle - the run will simply reach further along the networked strands.

Are we a religious nation or are we atheist? Are we peace keepers or are we nation builders? Are we pursuing knowledge or are we content with the knowledge we have? Are we a melting pot or are we chicken soup? Are all people free or are only certain people free? Are we a democracy or do we actually prefer monarchy? Who possesses the power within the country? Who are our role models? Are we world leaders or world managers? Do we cower in fear or do we stand brave? Are we independent or are we dependent? Are we individuals or part of a whole?

The disillusion does not exist in those questions. The problem lies in the fact that we no longer embrace the idea that it's okay to ask the questions, to hold different views and believe each person is valued. That was the uniting factor that made the US the nation it was when the Constitution and Declaration of Independence were first penned. That was the United States of America.

Now we are divided by sides, all pulling at the tear to dominate it, weakening it till it splinters further and the initial tear loses shape, becomes something different until it's pulled again. We don't know who we are anymore; the US has become a battleground for the floundering. We look to our 'leaders' for guidance, but they don't know who the US is any better than the rest of us. Instead of acting as the US, they act instead for their interests. And we keep unraveling into individual strings, dangling from the shreds of a red and white striped dream.

We've lost our identity. We can't even tell others who we are. They see our confusion and see the opportunity to join the fray, tearing us apart as much as we contribute to our self-destruction.

We're losing ground; we're losing space for the pantyhose to run and what happens when the run hits the end?

We need to stop the run. We need to remember who we are; not we as individuals, but we as a nation. We need an application of nail polish; a bond which will stop the run and glue the sides. We have a bottle of it - it's pretty full. We have two shades, one's Constitution Red and the other is Declaration of Indepence Pink. Apply both and no matter how much the nylon twists, the tear will never run.

Triple Rat Gum

Today's topic: Religion and Politics

Question: Why is it that people feel the need to make into law religious beliefs?

I don't understand it.

Seriously, if you want to make abortion illegal, keep marriage to het-couples only, eliminate all forms of birth control in favor of abstinence, keep children within a two (het) parent home, etc....my question is, why aren't you trying to convert me to your religion?

If what your religion teaches is so...vital...to the American people and the human race in general, why aren't you knocking on my door, sharing the wonders of your religion, and encouraging my belief in those 'values' so much so that I join your religion?

I mean, if you're right and those beliefs are the way to go, a simple conversation about the fundamentals of your religion would convert me and laws would be unneccesary because everyone would be practicing your religion because yours is so grand, so amazing, and the utter end-all-be-all truth.

Of their own free will. Because you're free to practice the religion (or no religion) of your choice in this country.

Problem with the media and their presentation of culture/non-traditional family values in a pro-homosexual agenda? Convert the folk at the top of the food chain! Turn the networks into faith raisers promoting the one true way of religious and spiritual belief. The folk at the top are sinners? Then you're not trying hard enough to convert. Convert, I said, not make law.

Seriously, if you want the US to be one religion under Bush God, convert me. Enlighten me. Tell me why my spiritual beliefs are wrong beyond a doubt and then I'll have no problem practicing what you preach.

But until that time, keep your religion away from my politics, your hands away from my body and don't force me to practice your prejudice.

Second Serving of Rat Jam

Today's topic I must expunge before I blow up: War

It's an inevitable topic of mine. For someone as anti-violence as I am (which, oddly enough, does not coincide with my attraction for action movies, speculative fiction or men wearing thigh holsters. Don't ask.), it's going to come up.

This war (war? Let's quit the bull and call it by its real name, the Crusades for the Rights to American Arabian Petroleum, or CRAP for short) this CRAP has been fundamentally foul-smelling since day one - and varies depending on which angle you choose (whether it's a war against 'terrorism', a war to overthrow Saddam, a war for oil, a war for religion, a war for unity or a war for desolation...isn't it sad that I no longer have a clue what it's about?). Never mind the shady rationale for going to CRAP, on the one hand, you have two (or more) groups of people opposing each other, each idealistically believing that their CRAP version is correct and everyone else's CRAP is wrong. On the other hand, you have a nation tired of CRAP and want a little peace but are at odds without a stable leadership uniting all fronts.

I posed this question to my family at one point in an argument about whether or not we should still be involved in this CRAP. To which the standard issue red-blood American response was given that Saddam was evil, and do you really think an evil dictator should remain in power while everyone in the country suffered? Of course we're doing the right thing by making sure Iraq is a democracy, giving the people of Iraq the right to elect their officials and freedom.

To which I asked (ignoring the urge to ask what a dictator was and didn't that kind of describe our current 'democracy'?), "that's assuming a democracy is the correct answer. Is democracy the best thing for Iraq?"

And the car was silent, the crickets chirped and my brother giggled and sputtered nervously from his side of the car.

Of course, the tidal wave defending CRAP ensued, implications that I was being unAmerican made, being a Saddam supporter, insulting and not support our troops, supporting terrorism (because everyone in Iraq is a terrorist) et al.

Why is it so wrong to think that, while something is working (or not working) for you, that it might not be the best solution for everyone? That's saying reading text books in black print works for me, so therefore, everyone must acquire knowledge in that fashion. Never mind people who are blind and can't read black print, they must adapt to whatever works for you instead of using Braille to achieve the same outcome.

Am I being unAmerican by saying that democracy might not work for everyone?

It's this xenophobic centrism which is just adding to the CRAP. When you are so idealistic that you are blind to any alternative, you doom everyone and everything you touch with CRAP. Sure, educate. Share the how's and the why's and what it looks like. But you can't force people to accept and think the way you do. It might not work for them. They might find that audio tapes work better than your Braille. If you're going to help, ask questions - find out what they need and what will work for them don't assume that because you use Braille, they must use it as well.

And for CRAP's sake, quit the childish semantics of everyone's picking on me, I'm going to do things my way temper tantrums. When seen on adults, temper tantrums look ridiculous and you're made a fool and the whole world sees it.

***

Cyd: "It's not exactly comforting to know that others have to go through this too"

I think everyone has to go through it at some point, in some fashion. It's the one uniting factor for all people - kind of a universal constant. If it could be bottled and sold, you'd make a killing. Ooh, now talk about your business idea!

Mo: "#2 parent doesn't have a basis for comparison or way to understand child's new life decisions, challenges, etc."

Good point. Applies to everyone as well - friends, siblings, spouses, parents/children, coworkers, etc... - being able to connect on a level beyond small talk-related conversations about weather and things within your immediate (small) circles. Making that leap from connecting on superficial levels or the things you undersand is a huge hurdle - but once you can, I think a relationship actually develops, not just a familial bond which exists no matter what. (Hence the phrase you can pick your friends, not your family ;) )

First Slice

"The heart rate triples. The brain swells, pressing against the skull. And as that keeps going, then the lungs began to shrink, making it impossible to breathe. The pressure increases on all the internal organs until [rat explodes]... Rat jam!" - Owen in episode "Day One", Torchwood

Ah, the inaugural post.

Beware, ye who enter for the spleen shall be vented and the rat jam spread thick.

Today's topic? Parents. I know, how colloquial and cliche and completely teen-angst-ridden EMO. But here's my theory.

For the first 15-20 years of your life, you are the center of your parents' world. Nearly everything they do revolves around you. Granted, as you grow older, you aren't quite as dependent on them for food, clothing, shelter, etc... as you were when you were an infant who couldn't poop without their assistance. Okay, so you could. But you'd be messy.

During those 15-20 years, you grow a personality, a character and individual separate from your parents. You make friends, you go to birthday parties, you start working, you start 'going out' with the cute boy in your homeroom class who sits 2 down and 1 to the left, 'going out' entailing giggling at the inane things he might say in typical highschool boy fashion and cooing as he struts his stuff in front of the guys and awkwardly tries to hold your hand while you watch a movie with your group of friends. Later on, you start seriously dating, maybe even fall in love in that head-over-heals first love kind of way. You graduate highschool, move on to college, have a life. All on your own.

And you realize, somewhere in this time period, that your parents are no longer the center of your universe. Everything you do doesn't revolve around them. They're still important, you still love them, but you realize your universe has shifted in some lateral shift. Your universe now revolves around a focal point of your own creation, whether it be a spouse, children, work, etc...

I could go on about interconnected spirals and whatnot, but that would get tedius and boring.

Thing is, I don't think the parents have an idea how to handle not being the central focus of your world because in a way, you still remain central to theirs. It's hard to let go of the complete and total time/thought devotion and let them go be circles of their own. You'd feel unwanted, unappreciated, unloved, and the kicker...secondary. And likewise for the children and the circles they create. It's not that the children feel any less, but that would be hard, I think, to accept. Or to rationalize. Leading to insecurities and fear, fear being the root cause of all things wrong in the world. Next comes the great last gasp of control, a stranglehold tightening it's noose around the kids' necks - 'if I just hold on a little tighter, I can keep them for that much longer.'

The (no longer) kid rebels, yells with all their might that they are an adult, to let go and let them live their own circle. Relationships deconstruct to their elements and reform. Some parent/kids survive into adult/adult or mentor/adult relationships, some never take breath - dead in some heap of crushed egos and arrogance.

Why do some survive? Why do some grow? What exactly is the formula producing equation 'happy lifelong relationships?'

Rather simplistic interpretation, I know. Relationships are full of variables changing between siblings, parents, friends, neighbors. But that's the only rational thing that makes sense in an irrational world.

Reason #264 why I am never having kids, which I'll probably address in another post.